Thursday, August 10, 2006

Book Review: Giraffes? Giraffes!

Giraffes? Giraffes! by Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey

Now out of print, this book I picked up last night out of the bargain bin and laughed out right in the bookstore. I'll admit I didn't read the whole thing last night, but I have to recommend it.

The best kind of humor is absurdist, and this book relishes in it. The whole thing is worth quoting, but let me steal a little here from the book description at Amazon:
You are so behind on giraffes that it's rather embarrassing and you obviously need this book more than health insurance. Things you probably don't know about giraffes -- and can only be found in this book -- include giraffes' preferred mode of transportation (conveyor belt), what their bodies are made of (paper mache, a clock, fruit juices and a super-strong lightweight titanium alloy), where most giraffes live (Terra Haute, Indiana -- known for many things, including buildings made of wood and ground made of dirt), and basic giraffe history (in 50,000 B.C giraffes began to hang out with primitive man, they found him to be likeable and helped him paint buffaloes in caves).
Cheat Sheet on Giraffes (good for slumber parties and barroom brawls):
• Giraffes invented plastic. "No, not plastic--latex. My bad. Still, though isn't that amazing?"
• Frequently Asked Question: Why do we call giraffes "giraffes?" Answer: Because when they came to Earth they asked us to.
• Rarely Asked Question: How fast can giraffes run? The giraffes have tried to phase out running from their lives but if they had to, they could still run much faster than you. Let's say, for the sake of argument, that they can run 780 mph.

It looks like this bit of fun comes to us from Dave Eggers and McSweeneys.

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